


American Dream

by NobodysBloodyPrincess



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Original Character(s), Parent Tony Stark, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24236428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodysBloodyPrincess/pseuds/NobodysBloodyPrincess
Summary: Tony is trying,  but try as he might he just can’t find the silver lining of this particular disaster.After all, what happiness could possibly be derived from the knowledge that the perfect little girl in his arms is now motherless? What relief could be drawn, when his boyfriend of ten years, the love of his life really, is probably, currently, right at this moment in the arms of ‘Peggy’ his new fiancé?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 27
Kudos: 196





	American Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Because although dreams are wonderful things to have, sometimes life has a say and makes us choose new dreams.

He is trying… really he is, but try as he might he just can’t find the silver lining of this particular disaster. What happiness could possibly be derived from the knowledge that the perfect little girl in his arms is now motherless? What relief could be drawn, when his boyfriend of ten years, the love of his life really, is probably, currently, right at this moment in the arms of ‘Peggy’ his new fucking fiancé?

A month ago, just a month ago Tony had laid down on this exact same couch and violently sobbed onto the shoulder of his best friend Jane. The same best friend whose corpse the police had just dropped off to be cremated not three hours ago… the mother of this perfect newborn in his clumsy arms. In just five weeks he had both lost his best friend AND the love of his life. And now? What now?

Now he’s a guardian, the sole guardian to this blonde, blue eyed newborn in his arms. He never actually imagined this to be a real possibility back when he’d signed the paperwork that Jane shoved under his nose during the first months of her pregnancy. He signed the papers as a courtesy, a gesture, but never did he believe that he would actually have to be more than ‘Uncle Tony’ to the baby.

Now he is more than Uncle Tony, he is now both Daddy and Mommy.

“We’ll be ok jelly bean, don’t you worry ok? We’ll figure it out.”

The infant is completely indifferent to his promise. She sleeps peacefully, wrapped in warm blankets. She is unaware that a car accident killed her mother just four days ago. Nor will she hear the dramatic story of how doctors had to cut her out of her dead mother’s womb just in time to save her life, at least not for another sixteen years. For now baby Sigrid sleeps deeply and she will stay that way until the pains of hunger rouse her into wails.

\---------

Bruce still looks worried, regardless of how many times Tony has explained the move to his old friend, his Code-Bro, Bruce still hates it.

“Are you sure Tony?”

“For the thousandth time, Yes! It’ll be good for us, a new start in a new place away from pollution, traffic and New Yorkers.”

“Away from all your friends too.”

“By ‘all’ I think you mean yourself, because Steve took all the kids in the divorce.”

He says it so matter-of-factly that Bruce flinches.

“Nat would’ve been here if she hadn’t had to work.”

They both know that’s a lie, but Tony isn’t angry about it. Natasha had always been more of Steve’s friend than his, so it’s no surprise she’s chosen Steve over him.

“I know… just take care of yourself ok? And tell Nat I said hi… oh, and please remind her that she can’t say a word about this to anyone.”

“She won’t say anything. Actually, she told me she’s really proud of you for doing this. She’s pretty pissed off at Steve for what he did, you know. They all are.”

Tony nods, willing to listen to Bruce lie if only out of courtesy. If that was true they would have checked in on him months ago instead of ignoring him as if he isn’t worth a fucking text message. They’d all known each other since high school; they’d practically grown up together, been a tight knit group, family even… the joke is on him now.

“They all think you just need time…”

“Good thing I’ll have plenty of that where we’re going. Right cupcake?”

Tony looks down at the baby carrier in his arms where a two month old baby wiggles experimentally.

“I still think we should try to contact Thor.”

“Nope, no chance in hell Bruce. You know Jane didn’t want him in the picture and Jane’s scary lawyer mom has every intention of enforcing that.”

“But circumstances have changed…”

“Doesn’t matter. We promised her we wouldn’t try to hunt down Thor when she told us she was pregnant and that’s a promise I’m keeping. Besides, who knows where the hell he is.”

Bruce sighs in defeat. He shifts his weight from one foot to the next and instead focuses his gaze on baby Sigrid.

“He could have had it all.” Bruce whispers.

“What?”

“Steve, if only he’d waited he could have had that family he wanted.”

The words sink through Tony’s ears and into his tastebuds, flooding his mouth with a foul taste.

“What he wants, I never would’ve been able to give him Bruce. I’m not a woman, and Siggy isn’t his.”

The words seem to sink in slowly and it occurs to Tony that Bruce might be having a hard time reconciling the Steve they thought they knew with this new, ‘family’ obsessed man who dumped his partner of nine years to pursue 2.5 kids, a wife and a white picket fence.

“He’ll regret it Tony. Maybe not tomorrow but one of these days he’s going to realize how much he fucked up.”

Those words, spoken from any other lips would have sounded like platitudes to Tony, but not from Bruce. Tony lets them sit and soak comfortably into his heart and when he draws in his Science-Bro for a hug with his left arm, he does so with love.

“Come visit.” The invitation is whispered into the side of Bruce’s head and he feels him nod. 

“I will.” 

With one last slap on the back, both men pull away smiling. Tony turns around, concentrating on locking the baby seat into the car seat like he practiced. Once Siggy is secured, he climbs onto the driver’s seat, waves goodbye to Bruce and turns on the car.

The drive down to Tennessee does not feel like a hassle, even though he’s stopping regularly to check on the baby and is driving within the speed limit normally reserved for the elderly, he’s actually enjoying the trip. He doesn’t have to think about Steve here, doesn’t have to answer Helen Foster’s phone calls about signing more paperwork or think about what he should do with Jane’s ashes which Helen refuses to take. Here, it’s just Siggy and him in the car, listening to a 90’s music radio station as they head to their new life. Moving to Knoxville had not been Tony’s top choice, in fact, he waited until the last possible moment to accept the offer. He ultimately gave in because the company CEO assured him that he could work from home most days. He hopes the new house looks just like the pictures his realtor emailed, he knows he’s going to have to look around for new furniture in the coming days, he barely brought anything down with him. He opted against bringing anything that reminds him of Steve, and since the whole goddamn apartment reminded him of Steve, he left almost everything behind.

‘Fresh start’ he keeps repeating ‘Fresh start.’

They spend their first night in in a Knoxville hotel room because it’s late and Tony figures they both need a proper night’s sleep. The next morning, one bottle of formula and a proper breakfast later, they’re back in the car, heading straight to their new home.

Happiness is not straightforward, that much Tony has always known. What he never realized is that it is also ever changing. Once upon a time, happiness meant Steve. It was days spent together in their apartment, the sound of his voice, the pleasure of his touch, the intimacy of their shared life. Nowadays, happiness is shrieks of laughter, sticky hands and the look on Siggy’s face every time she looks at her Daddy. Tony’s whole world is now wrapped around meal times and play times and doing little jobs around the house. It’s naptimes and squeezing in work and more meals and shower-time and finally bedtime. He’s so incredibly busy and so utterly engulfed in it all, that when Siggy proudly interrupts his work to announce that “I’m almost FIVE Daddy!” Tony is so shaken that he is unable to continue typing a single more line of code.

But she does turn five, and then inevitably six and by the time seven comes along, there’s more children coming in and out of his house than he ever thought possible. Which really, when Tony thinks about it, it’s no great surprise, Siggy has a natural magnetic charisma, a mind that picks up difficult concepts with ease and a selfless, humble nature that endears her to even the most draconian of teachers. The overall package results in a little person who is so overall likable, that Tony soon finds himself being the most praised single father of an entire elementary school.

Thankfully for him, Sigrid is also (like her mother) naturally picky with her friendships. So although the girl is undoubtedly popular, she keeps a small close-knit group of friends and spares Tony the pain of having to put up with snotty little brats.

For this he is unapologetically proud.

Siggy’s ninth year brings new people into Tony’s tiny circle of friends. It’d never bothered him, this secluded existence he seems to be leading. After all, he spends most of his time being a Dad and keeping up with the daily grind to actually maintain any real friendships. He keeps good relations with the other school parents, goes to a few barbecues during the year and he knows his neighbours. To those who know Tony and Siggy superficially, he is just a single Dad looking after his daughter (“Where’s the Mom?” They always ask someone else. “She’s dead.” Someone always replies.) To those who know Tony and Siggy personally, he’s actually Siggy’s uncle, (“Where’s her mom?” They ask. “She was Tony’s sister. She passed years ago.” Someone replies).

Tony never bothers telling anyone the whole truth, it’s not any of their business after all. It’s not until Vivi Keener and her two spawn come along that Tony’s world is cracked wide open in a way it hasn’t been in almost a decade. Tony meets Harley Keener first, he’s a small kid, all baggy clothes, a backpack that it’s obviously being hoped he’ll grow into at some point in the next century, and a look of sadness in his eyes that is out of place in a nine year old. The kid is being dragged forward, by the hand, by an excited Siggy who proudly introduces her new friend to Tony.

“We blew up a beaker together!” She tells him, a mad gleam in her eyes that makes Tony remember he has to call and confirm the fire insurance clause of his home policy.

“Well hopefully no innocents were damaged in the process.” He replies and Siggy beams up at him.

“Harley’s mom’s an OR nurse! But she has an emergency surgery to do so she can’t come pick up Harley and his sister, can they come home with us Daddy? Their Mom can pick them up at our house after the surgery’s done.”

“It’s ok, really! We’ll just take the bus home, we do it all the time.” The kid, Harley assures Tony, embarrassment colouring his face.

“But you just moved to Knoxville! What if something happens to you? Daddy, can they come home with us? Please!”

He doesn’t even need to think about it.

While waiting for Harley’s little sister, ‘Arlen’ to come out, Tony gets the kid’s mom’s cell number and quickly texts her his name and address. He also sends her a picture of the three of them for good measure, figures she has the right to see the stranger who is taking her kids home with him. Harley’s sister is a dark haired little thing who hardly looks six. She has big brown eyes, a thin little face and a toothy-gap smile that charms Tony on the spot. Once everyone is inside and strapped in (Tony thanks the laziness that kept him from removing Siggy’s old booster seat like he should have done months ago), Tony drives home with two more kids than he started the day out with.

At dinner, Harley explains how his dad just picked up and left the family not two months ago. They’d been forced to relocate so his mom, a nurse, could find work and she had gotten lucky enough to land a job at the closest hospital. Tony expected Vivi Keener to arrive at his door step looking tired and somewhat down-brought, but much to Tony’s surprise, the woman who rings his doorbell at nine twenty at night is the very picture of joy. She greets him not with a handshake, but with a hug that has him stepping back to regain his balance.

“Thank you so much, sugar!” She gushes and smiles a tired, warm smile at him.

He makes her sit down and have some dinner despite her protests, and when the kids join them at the table Siggy and Harley retell the story of the broken beaker and their easy friendship. Two hours later and much past everyone’s bedtimes, the tired family of three finally drives home for the night.

After that day Tony’s life makes its first big change since his move to Tennessee. He suddenly not only has two extra kids practically living at his house, but he also has a best friend again. Vivi has more life in her than anyone he’s ever met. She is loud and vivacious and yet has so much empathy for people that Tony often feels lucky to know someone so honestly… good. She’s also a wonderful OR nurse and it doesn’t take long for the best surgeons in the hospital to start requesting her at their surgeries.

Vivi is the kind of woman Tony would have fallen in love with… had he been so inclined. But Tony is a proud gay man and if anything, that makes Vivi feel like she can hold on to him and never let go.

It’s through Vivi that Tony is eventually introduced to Dr. Stephen Strange, a neurosurgeon. Had Stephen and Tony met years prior, that acquaintance would have lasted no more than seconds, but life being what it is, Dr. Strange is not the same man he was a decade ago. For one, Dr. Strange is a widower who (like Tony) is still in love with someone who is now gone. They become good friends, the kind that can drink a beer out on the porch after a hell of a day and the kind Siggy likes to invite with them on day trips. Eventually, Stephen and Tony even become friends-who-sometimes-share-orgasms and even though their relationship shifts a little, they never talk about it.

By the time Sigrid is ten, Tony’s sense of time is lost to chaos. His weekdays are all about homework and dinner and movies and snacks and weird kitchen experiments concocted in the minds of children with a love for fire and explosions. He gets plenty of work done (he thinks, after all they haven’t fired him from his job yet) but by the time school is done it’s a mad dash to get three kids fed and homework done before Vivi comes to pick up her two terrors. The only times when Tony is actually alone is during those short hours spent alone in his office, working. Any other time is spent either in the company of a child (or children) or with Vivi and/or Stephen.

The dynamic feels both nostalgic and strange. After all, he is technically raising three kids and is one part of a co-dependent triad of broken-hearted adults who can’t go more than 40 hours without seeing each other. Old Tony would never have lived like this, but present Tony doesn’t like thinking about back then, he tells Siggy stories about Jane of course, but he never tells her about his old life.

He doesn’t tell her that he was in what he thought of as a marriage for almost a decade. He doesn’t tell her about his childhood friends or the apartment he once had in Brooklyn. He doesn’t tell her about Steve Rogers or his family or anything from his past. Siggy however is smart enough to figure some things out on her own. The rest she figures out with Harley’s help.

The first time Siggy Foster knowingly and purposely does something bad is when she’s ten years old. Yes, she has been called to the office of the school Principal and Vice Principal before, and yes, she has had a few mishaps in science class, but there had never been anything purposely sneaky about it. Her first real, deliberate misdemeanour comes in the form of catfishing. It’s a team effort.

“What do you mean you want to stalk your Dad’s New York friends on Facebook?” Harley is looking at her like she just told him she’s running away from home to pursue her YouTube dreams.

“Look, all I have to do is create a fake profile and send a friend request to my Dad’s friend Bruce. After that it’ll be super easy!”

“But why don’t you just ask Tony whatever you want to know?”

“Because I don’t want to hurt him Harley! It’s obvious that thinking about the past hurts him a lot and I don’t want to go making my Daddy cry just because I’m nosy!”

“But you’re not just being nosy. You want to find out more about your Mom and your biological Dad right?”

“Well kinda but Daddy already tells me anything I want to know about them. It’s the stuff that’s just about HIM that he doesn’t talk about.”

Harley knows he’s going to say yes, of course he is, his whole world revolves around the girl in front of him, but he still takes his time saying yes… for effect.

They choose the name of Dr. Evelyn Baker and go a little overboard with it. “The more realistic it is the more likely he will accept the invite.” Siggy explains as she dictates the Facebook profile to Harley.

“I get that but does she really need to have volunteered two years in South America building houses for orphans?”

Sigrid takes a minute to think about it.

“Fiiiine. Take it off.”

The end product is decent, not professional, not bulletproof but decent enough for Bruce to believe it might be that Dr. Baker he met at that conference a few months back, or was it a few years back? Regardless, he accepts the friend request four days after receiving it (he doesn’t check every day) and spares it no further thought ever again.

With the keys to unknown secrets at her fingertips, Siggy explores. She soon maps out what she titles a ‘Friendship Map’ that goes from Bruce and Natasha Banner, to others and starts the time consuming investigative work of unearthing her Daddy’s past. Thankfully, it doesn’t take her long to strike with ancient treasure: pictures.

There’s pictures of her Daddy in High School, pictures of him in College, pictures of him on outings and vacations. He is always with someone, with people named Sam and Bucky, Scott, Clint, Darcy, the Banners and a few with her Mom and her biological dad. There are traces of her Daddy everywhere, little footprints as light as paws on a dusting of snow. 

Finally she finds the account she wanted to snoop into the most, Steve Rogers. She recognizes him from the other pictures and she knows right away that he has to be the ex-boyfriend. As invested as she is, the project comes to an end rather abruptly. No, she doesn’t get caught, but rather she realizes rather unceremoniously that Steve Rogers is married to a woman by the name of ‘Peggy’ and they recently celebrated a ten year anniversary.

Her excitement becomes nausea all too quickly, for finally, after all these years she finally understands why her Daddy does not want to date other guys. After all, why would he want to when his partner just up and left him for a woman?

With tears in her eyes, she deletes Dr. Evelyn Foster’s account, closes her laptop, dries her face and goes downstairs to give her Daddy a big hug.

Tony often forgets his own age.

He can figure it out when he actually has to, but for the most part it’s just one other thing he never thinks about. It occurs to him one day, while making Arlen a sandwich that he’s actually still in his mid-thirties despite the fact that he could have sworn he was hitting forty. He’s simply led a very busy life, from skipping ahead grades, starting College early and being in a committed relationship for so long to even becoming a father, he’s simply been really, really busy.

“Uncle Tony?”

“Yes my liege?”

“Can I eat that?” Arlen asks, pointing at the finished sandwich that is simply sitting on the counter.

“Yes! Sorry about that your highness!”

Arlen smiles but the big sparkly crystal tiara that is precariously balanced on top of her head begins tilting to one side. She’s quick to fix it, one hand going to smooth out her princess dress while the other keeps the tiara in place. While Siggy has never been a girly girl, Arlen takes prisoners and converts them into tea party servants without impunity. As they’ve grown older Siggy and Harley have gradually become more independent from Tony, but Arlen has gone the opposite direction. Vivi thinks it’s because she’s holding on to abandonment issues. Tony honestly couldn’t care less, he’s just happy to still have a baby who needs him. And need him she does, from bringing him into her games to sticking as close to him as she can get away with, Arlen has become his shadow.

Tony is hoping to milk it for a good ten more years, though Vivi will never abide by it of course. While Tony watches Arlen devour her sandwich in the most un-princess like manner possible, he wonders what Vivi and Stephen have planned for tonight. They very specifically told him not to make plans for his birthday but all he knows is that Vivi will be picking him and the kids up at six. He suspects that dinner will be involved and possibly cake. He hopes they’re not going to a restaurant, not because he dislikes the establishments but because the list of restaurants one can successfully take three kids under the age of eleven to, is rather limited.

A pesky memory suddenly worms its way into his consciousness; one with a choir of voices singing happy birthday and of Steve looking at him as if they would never be apart.

He smothers the thought quickly. Big birthday celebrations had once upon a time been a tradition for him. Some had been organized by Steve, others by his friends, but the birthday that suddenly stands out the most is the first one he spent in this house with Sigrid. When he made pancakes instead of cake and laughed while watching the joy in Siggy’s face as she stuffed the pillow-like treats into her tiny mouth.

He wonders what would have become of him had he not had Siggy to look after. He wonders if he would have spent that first birthday without Steve alone, drunk and crying in his empty apartment.

“Uncle Tony, Mamma’s here!”

He startles and looks up, his eyes darting to the digital clock in the wall. Embarrassed he looks down to check if he should change into something nicer. The door unlocks, opens and Tony registers the sounds of Arlen and Vivi greeting each other. He hears Arlen’s tiara fall on the floor for the hundredth time this week and the sound of Siggi and Harley running down the stairs. Then he finally looks up.

Vivi Keener is standing before him, wearing a blue sleeveless sun dress and a smile that would make the sun jealous. She walks closer, and like an opposing force magnet Tony can’t help but meet her in the middle. Vivi’s hugs are the stuff of children books, they are like the warmest blanket in the coldest winter’s night. She draws him in and whispers ‘Happy Birthday baby” with that sweet Louisiana drawl of hers (slightly faded after decades of living north) that makes him believe that everything, regardless of how bad it is, will always be ok.

“Thanks Vivi” 

She delivers a loud smooth on his cheek which makes him laugh, and steps back to greet her son and adopted niece.

“Y’all ready?”

“Yes!” The kids shout, a strange excitement in their faces.

“Is this ok, or do I need to change?”

Vivi looks him over with clinical precision but she smiles when she reaches his face.

“Naw, you look fine sugar.”

It’s obvious as they all pack into Vivi’s SUV, that he’s the only one in the dark as to where they are going. His confusion only rises when he realizes they are nowhere near the kid-friendly restaurants they frequent. Instead they head to a trendy area of downtown Knoxville and suddenly he knows exactly where they’re going.

“Stephen’s really?”

Vivi only laughs as she maneuvers the car into the underground parking of Stephen’s condo.

“Vivi why are we at Stephens?”

“Because he offered to host and I wasn’t about to turn down a perfectly good invite to spend an evenin’ on the lap of luxury.”

The kids are buzzing with excitement as they get out of the car. Whispering to each other all the way into the polished elevator.

“Now remember what I told y’all, if any of you so much as touches anything, you’ll be spending the rest of your days doing household for Dr. Strange, understood?”

All three nod in understanding, cautious fear evident in their little faces.

There’s a whole lot of questions Tony wants to ask Vivi about this little surprise with the most prominent being, ‘why?’ but experience has taught him that there’s no prying anything out of the woman when she has that gleam in her eyes. Regardless he doesn’t have to wonder long because in seconds, they’ve reached Stephen’s floor. The hallways are all sleek looking and polished, exactly the kind of place Tony would have liked to live in once upon a time. The kids stick uncharacteristically close to their parents, their eyes taking in the clean lines and scented halls with weary admiration.

“Uncle Stephen lives here?” Asks Harley, surprise coloring every syllable.

“Well he is a surgeon darlin’; he can afford to.” Vivi explains which causes Tony to snort in response.

“Then how come he’s always hanging out at our place Daddy?”

He laughs aloud this time, his hand reaching to grasp Siggy’s. “Because money can’t buy happiness jellybean.”

She nods and smiles in the wisest manner she can. She thinks back to just two days ago when she spent two hours watching a horror movie on the couch with her Uncle Stephen, yelling at the screen the whole time as they criticised the ghost’s lousy decision making skills. Yes, she thinks, of course money can’t buy happiness. 

Vivi stops them in front of one of the doors by rapping her knuckles against it. It takes mere seconds for the door to open, slowly revealing Stephen’s striking face. He smiles widely at them all, stepping back to let them all in.

“Welcome! Come in!”

He’s wearing a loose fitting shirt (surely one of the many he got in Nepal) and casual pants that make him look more like an exotic magician than the owner of this stunning view. The contrast of the minimalistic, professionally designed interior and the hominess of his attire seems to singularly out of place, that Tony is smirking by the time the kids are done greeting their Uncle.

“What are you smirking about old man?” There’s teasing warmth in Stephen’s tone and Tony feels free to release his laughter.

“You look like a hipster version of the genie from Aladdin!”

Tony shakes with laughter, the sound intensifying as Stephen crosses his arms and glares at him. Curious little eyes watch the interaction with various degrees of understanding, but the show is cut short as Vivi herds the three children deeper into the condo and they become distracted with 1. the view, and 2. the 50 inch TV in the living room.

“Oh come on, don’t I get a free pass on my birthday?” Tony finally asks as his laughter dies down. A smirk is the only tell he gets from the surgeon and it’s enough for Tony to walk forward and throw his arms around the slightly taller man.

“Happy birthday Tony.”

Stephen’s voice sounds sincere but it’s the warmth of his arms around him that causes tears to sting Tony’s eyes.

“Thanks for doing this” He whispers, a knot firmly stuck somewhere in his larynx.

“I hope I don’t regret it.” Stephen’s eyes cast an anxious glance at the children pottering around his living room and balcony.

“Yeah, about that… good luck.”

But luck, as it turns out, is already on their side. For nothing gets broken all evening, cake and catered food is eaten with gusto and the Disney karaoke they all end up participating in is enjoyed by both children and adults alike (with Tony’s rendition of “How Far I’ll Go” being the highlight of the night). Karaoke is followed with a movie in Stephen’s ginormous TV and it’s quite possible (though never confirmed) that all three children beg for a second movie if only so they can have an excuse to fall asleep and not leave.

This tactic ends up working rather well, because by the time all three adults wake up from their own accidental naps, it’s one in the morning and Vivi declares “Fudge it, we’re staying.”

Thus the sleeping children are all transferred to the guest bedroom to sleep off their sugar-filled day while the adults clean up the living room and kitchen. Three pairs of experienced hands make quick work of the task however, and soon Stephen is finally opening up a nice bottle of wine at two-thirty in the morning.

“It’d be nice to drink it out in the balcony.” Suggests Vivi as Stephen hands her a tall glass of the very nice (and very expensive) French wine.

“Nope, we’re about ten minutes away from getting drunk enough to giggle and people will hear us out there.”

Vivi makes a show of clinking her glass to Tony’s in recognition of his point.

“We can go to my room, we’re all an hour from passing out from exhaustion anyway so we might as well be close to a bed.” 

“Why Dr. Strange! Are you inviting me to share a bed with two men?” Vivi’s voice is pure glee at the scandal but Stephen is too tired to humour her.

“As if you don’t snuggle up to Tony ever chance you get.”

“Hey! That’s t…”

“Oh and you don’t?!”

Vivi’s grin is pure sin and Tony feels himself blushing scarlet at the unsaid subtext. Stephen’s response is a salacious grin of his own, and he in turn makes a show of clinking his glass with hers in symbol of their draw.

“To Tony and to many more birthdays like this one.” Toasts Stephen and finally they drink.

Tony does not in fact fall asleep after they make themselves comfortable on Stephen’s king size bed. At first they’re all too tipsy to fall asleep, too giggly to relax. Then one by one they start dropping off until Vivi is snuggled against Tony’s back like a warm spoon and Stephen has Tony’s right hand trapped in one of his. Tony thinks he could fall asleep like this, safe and warm in a friendship cocoon of his own making, but an old memory is protruding too much from the rest to be left alone. The memory of a situation, much like this one, involving a night he spent sleeping in Steve’s arms with Jane on the opposite side, her back warm against his.

Had they been in college still? He and Jane had been, working on their Masters. They’d all been out partying, celebrating something but there hadn’t been enough room on the couch for everyone so Jane slept on their bed. Steve and Tony were the only ones with whom Jane ever felt comfortable crashing on the same bed with. She’d always been so careful, his Jane, so even-headed. Her only blunder was falling in love with Thor. But had that really been a mistake when it led to Siggy being born? No… Siggy hadn’t been a mistake, or a blunder or an indiscretion. She is a gift… in fact love is a gift.

Tony’s salvation from spiraling into a life of addictions had been Steve. He’d been fifteen and so close to falling, so perilously close to giving into the darkness his father had condemned him to that he lost all interest in his own survival. He’d experimented so much with drugs that it’d been a miracle he didn’t overdose. It was simply a fact that Tony’s life would have been very different without Steve and his enormous group of friends to keep him afloat. They’d raised him, sheltered him, nursed him until he was strong enough to stand on his own. So yeah… falling in love with Steve Rogers had not been a mistake… just like Siggy being born hadn’t been a mistake either.

In the darkness of the room, without anyone to see it, Tony smiles. He finally feels like a weight has been kicked off his gut, like he can finally swallow without the weight of Steve Rogers in his stomach. He can finally breathe without feeling like he is a walking wronged person. Because that’s what he’s been feeling like, like a person who was damaged and wronged and hurt by another. And he has been, of course he has but maybe that’s not his mistake, his weight to carry. He can let it go because it’s led him to be Siggy’s Dad, and Harley and Arlen’s uncle, and Vivi’s best friend and Stephen’s… friend-with-benefits… person.

He is Tony Stark and finally, at thirty-six years of age, he is himself.

Things change a bit in the Stark-Foster household after Tony’s birthday celebration. They’re subtle changes, nothing so grand that anyone would notice. Siggy, however, does indeed notice. She notices the way her Daddy doesn’t get quite so lost in thought anymore. In the way he sometimes smiles to himself instead of pursing his lips as if he’s gotten a papercut. She notices in the way he teases her Aunt Vivi and Uncle Stephen more often. He even tells her the story about the first time he met her biological Dad Thor, and how her parents’ first date has been a double date with her Daddy and his old boyfriend. Sigrid is over the moon with the changes, particularly as she notices her Uncle Stephen is staying the night more and more often. She’s tempted to ask her Daddy if Uncle Stephen and him are boyfriends now, but she senses it’s a touchy subject and lets it be.

Spring turns to Summer, and as dictated by nature, children begin their yearly migration into Tony’s house. Most of them don’t stay (they do tend to return to their homes before it gets dark) but there’s always at least three children running around the yard, in and out of the house and all around his general vicinity. This year’s ‘cool’ summer obsession is building a marble machine and so Tony finds himself supervising five children (Siggy and Harley’s friends) as they design and attempt to build, said marble machine.

It’s a fun project and he loves watching the little terrors figure it out. Arlen for her part stays out of it, finding all the entertainment she needs in game apps involving pet care and virtual home design. Tony loves her all the more for it, he doesn’t know what he would do if she too was obsessed with making as much noise as humanly possible.

Abnormally, it also turns out to be a busier than normal summer for Vivi and Stephen. Somehow they find themselves with the most gruelling surgery schedule in two years and by August; the toll is starting to show. It takes Tony one look at his exhausted best friend to decide that she, Harley and Arlen are moving in with them until things settle down at the hospital. Vivi reluctantly agrees and that’s only because she’s too exhausted to properly argue.

Adding to the oddity, by mid-August a dessert-like heat wave has pushed the busy children into the air-conditioned-great-indoors. The marble machine, having been mostly completed, now lies abandoned as a casualty of the temperature. Now the children that used to reign the outside, reign Tony’s living room area (his office is in the basement) bringing with them laughter, the odd painful scream and a lot of chatter. They talk over each other as they try their hand at phone app games and bicker about celebrity gossip. It’s due to all this noise that Tony is utterly unaware of his ringing doorbell until Siggy runs downstairs and knocks on his office door.

“Daddy? There’s a bunch of people at the front door.”

Tony tears his eyes away from the computer screens and smiles up at his daughter. “Thanks sweetheart.” He hears his own back crack as he stands and Sigrid giggles at the sound.

“Daddy you need a break.”

“Good thing it’s almost lunch time. We still have a full house?”

“Yeah but we’re all bored I don’t think they’ll last long.”

Tony hopes at least some of the terrors return to their caves for lunch time, but he may have to make a pyramid of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just in case they don’t. 

He’s busy figuring out the logistics for making ten sandwiches the quickest way possible, when he sees that Ian, Shari and Reamus are making faces at whoever is at the door through the glass. Tony chuckles at the scene, enjoying the thought that whoever is at the door probably thinks that whoever owns the house has way too many children.

“Ok guys! Clear the way, let me see who’s at the door.”

The three terrors are quick to obey and they walk back to the living room with a look of accomplished mischief in their little faces. Tony can already hear them telling the others all about it. Finally, after more time than is customary, Tony opens the door. The sight that greets him is a shocking one that much is true. The faces before him are surprising, yet at the same time, the first thing that hits him is disgust at the wall of pure scorching heat right outside his door.

“Hi Tony” Bruce smiles, sweaty and older than Tony remembers but the smile is genuine. 

It’s too hot for this.

“Hi!... Yeah, no. Come in, we’re definitely not doing this in literally, hell.”

He steps back and watches them enter his house, his refuge, his kingdom. He knows exactly who is coming in even though he refuses to take in their faces, he knows who closes the door of his home behind him.

“Stay here” Tony commands them and rushes to the living room with panic steadily rising. 

“Ok guys, I’m sorry but I’m going to need you to head back to your homes. We have unexpected visitors from out of town.”

There’s groans of disappointment but mostly it’s a chorus of “Ok Mr. Stark.” He does his best to smile confidently, to look like this is nothing out of the ordinary, but he can’t fool them. He certainly can’t fool Siggy who is staring at them all as if she is seeing ghosts, or Harley who is downright scowling at the newcomers. He keeps the smile frozen as Shari stops to hug Siggy, keeps it as Siggy whispers something to Harley that has him shooting upstairs like a bullet.

“Apologize to your parents for me.” He tells the kids as they’re walking to the doorway. They look at him, curiously and he wants to hit himself. Apologize for what? They have been spending almost everyday at his house for weeks now. It’s gotten to the point where Shari, Ian and Reamus parents are taking turns bringing dinner as a thanks for free babysitting. Just yesterday he’d field calls from them apologizing for how much their respective children were coming over and he had assured them that it was perfectly fine.

“See you tomorrow Mr. Stark!” Ian calls back. He sees them exit his house and a fresh wave of panic overcomes him. They all live nearby… they’ll be fine. Maybe he should call their mothers, let them know their kids are coming… maybe he should…

“Tony?”

He tears his gaze away from the closed door and right onto the bearded face of a man he’d once known.

“Steve.”

His heart is beating so loudly in his eardrums that he can barely make out his own voice. Just minutes ago the house had been so full of noise he hadn’t even heard the doorbell, yet now in pindrop silence he can’t hear his own voice. He must look a sight because all of a sudden he feels Sigrid’s hand in his. He looks down at his daughter, his beautiful little girl and swallows down the panic in his throat.

“Well this is a surprise! What brings you all to my corner of the world?”

He sounds downright cheerful now and the smile that paints his lips feels less like a wince. This he can do, being strong for Sigrid is something he has considerable experience with.

“I’m sorry we didn’t call ahead, this was very last minute.” He looks at Natasha, searches her eyes for the answers she’s trying to give. She looks sincerely sorry about the ambush, seems almost embarrassed by it. Her whole face is trying to tell him that this was sudden, that they themselves were ambushed and she looks it. She’s still in work clothes for crying out loud. She must have been plucked from her office in New York by a panicked Bruce.

“Honey, you remember Natasha and Bruce right?”

Sigrid nods, her manners pushing forth a little smile. She remembers the woman’s fiery red hair most of all. Remembers how Natasha had let her play with it and how nice she’d been to five year old Sigrid.

“Hi Sigrid.” Says Bruce, a real smile on his lips.

Siggy returns the greeting and tries to ignore the stare of the tall, blonde man nearby. Sigrid knows exactly who the tall man is, she recognized him immediately from the pictures she has of her mom.

“Why don’t we all sit down. Can I offer you anything? How about some water? Ice water? Siggy could you help me with the drinks please?”

“Why don’t you let me take care of that, sugar.”

Vivi’s voice cuts through the silence like a violin note. She’s descended from the second floor with Arlen in her arms and Harley close behind her. Her long brown hair is pulled up in a messy high bun and she’s still wearing the same tanktop and short-shorts she went to bed in just five hours earlier. She walks over, confident as anything and hands him a sleepy seven year old.

He wonders for a moment, in a fit of hysteria, whether he’s meant to use the seven-year-old as a shield. 

“Go sit down.” She winks at him as she says it, a smile on her lips. Tony can only nod and hold on to Arlen as he walks to the living room and does just that. Siggy is quick to take a seat beside him and on her other side, a scowling Harley squeezes in. It’s a tight fit for a two-seater but he honestly couldn’t care less. He maneuvers Arlen so she’s draped across his lap and although she’s no longer sleeping, she seems perfectly content to stay where she is.

In front of them Bruce and Natasha take the other two-seater while Steve and Thor slowly settle on the larger couch. Loki remains standing though, his gaze fixed on the available space beside Thor as if he’s scared it might hurt him. It takes Tony a second to figure out the reason for the hold-up.

“Take one of the chairs in the dining room, I’m pretty sure those are clean.”

The look Loki gives Tony is one of pure, unfiltered relief and Tony cannot help but chuckle.

“There’s so many kids around here that most everything is bound to be sticky.” Tony explains, enjoying the various looks of unease that flash across their faces. “So Thor, when did you get back state-side?”

Thor, who has continued to stare at Sigrid with a mixture of pure amazement and utter disbelief, finally focuses on Tony.

“Three days ago. I was in Haiti.”

“Haiti?”

“Haiti” Both Bruce and Natasha repeat in chorus.

“Haiti” Tony repeats and shares a look of with Bruce that without a word, recounts the months Jane spent trying to get a hold of Thor after finding out she was pregnant. Loki comes back with a clean chair then, settles it close to his brother and takes a seat with obvious relief. 

“Did you know about Jane?”

“I did not. I just found out…” Thor’s gaze focuses on the dusty hardwood floor, tears threatening to escape his red-tinted (sun damaged) hazel eyes. “I don’t even know where she is buried.” Thor whispers. Steve places a hand on Thor’s knee in support, inhaling as if getting ready to say something before losing it all in a single exhale at what follows. 

“She’s right here.” The sound of Sigrid’s voice startles Thor out of his daze. He looks up at the child to find her pointing at the mantle. He follows the finger all the way to an urn decorated with beautiful images of colourful flowers, on to a plaque on the polished porcelain that reads JANE FOSTER. “Grandma didn’t want to take Mom’s ashes so we kept her here with us.”

Thor obviously stops breathing at the news, Steve probably does too and all Tony can do not to burst into inappropriate, uncontrollable laughter is to hide his mouth on Arlen’s temple.

“At least she’s always with you.” Natasha says sweetly.

Everyone is given a chance to recover when Vivi appears holding a tray of glasses and a pitcher of icy water. She settles the offerings on the coffee table along with a few cans of soda.

“Everyone, this is my friend Vivi and her kids Harley…” Tony uses a free hand to ruffle Harley’s hair before bringing it back to rest on Arlen’s knee. “and Arlen. Vivi meet Bruce, Natasha, Steve, Thor and Loki.” 

“Nice to meet y’all.” She gives them a pageant smile but it’s Loki who stands to offer his hand for her to shake. 

“You live here as well?” Asks Loki, discretely taking her in.

“Just for the summer, we have a place nearby, but I cannot tell you how busy it’s been over at the hospital where I work? I’m an OR nurse you see, and like the God-sent that they are, Tony and Siggy offered to host us till things calm down at work.”

“I’m Loki Odinson, Thor’s brother, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s all mine. So you’re Siggy’s Uncle?”

“Well I suppose so, but I’m adopted.”

“So am I!” Exclaims Sigrid, pure cheeky confidence in her voice that brings Tony into a full belly laugh.

“See Loki, you have so much in common already.” Vivi shares a conspiratory gleam with Sigrid who looks particularly proud of herself. “Well I think it’s time for us to let y’all talk in private. Come on my loves.”

Harley does not look convinced with his mother’s plan, but she’s holding out her hand in a way that means business so he reluctantly stands up. He shares a look with Siggy, she smiles at him, confident and with a look that says ‘I got this’. The same look she gets whenever they get in trouble at school. He smiles back, but it’s a worried grimace more than anything. Arlen however is harder to convince. The girl ignores her mother’s hand, opting for burrowing deeper into her Uncle Tony’s arms in protest.

“Arlen Keener, come over here please.” But the girl does not move a muscle.

With a heart full of love, Tony kisses the girl’s forehead. “It’s ok, I’ll be all right my liege. Go with your Mamma ok?” He whispers low enough so only she can hear. Brown eyes open and focus on his. ‘Are you sure you don’t need me?’ they seem to say and Tony smiles tenderly down at his little shield. “I’m ok” he reassures her. He helps her to her feet until she finally takes hold of her mother’s hand. But Arlen stalls a little, looking directly at the couch sitting Siggy’s biological dad and the other blonde guy, she sticks her tongue out, high and far, at the two occupants.

“Arlen!” Vivi exclaims, utterly scandalized by the targeted rudeness, but it’s all drowned out by the laughter that follows. Tony has no idea who is laughing harder (maybe it’s him) but Loki, Bruce and Natasha are all shaking with it. Even Steve is cracking a smile although Thor looks completely bewildered. But as offended as Vivi sounds, she doesn’t make the girl apologize for it either. Instead she ushers her children down the hall and up the stairs to the second floor.

“Never a dull moment around here” Tony tells them trying to ignore the deep awkward silence that is quickly setting in. “So Thor, how did you find out about Sigrid?”

“My brother told me, as soon as I came to see him.”

“And how did you find out about her Loki?” As far as Tony knows Loki hadn’t even been in the States while Jane was pregnant. Jane told Thor’s parents, in fact that’s where she got the signed contract that specified they wouldn’t pursue any contact with Jane or her baby, but she’d never told Loki.

“I came across the original contract between Jane and Father two years ago and asked Mother about it. She told me everything that happened.”

“Is it ok for Sigrid to be here for all this?” Asks Bruce warily.

Smiling, Tony slides an arm across his daughter’s back and tugs her closer. “Sure it is. She knows the whole story already. In fact, Helen showed her the contract last year and she read the whole thing.”

Loki winces, his thoughts going back to the contact clauses in the paperwork. That contract was a nasty piece of work and it’s only legal because of the absolute power of attorney that Thor gave to their father before running off to Haiti.

“That contract, I knew nothing about it before, I never signed it! I didn’t even know that…” Thor’s voice is pure anguish and he looks up at Tony with the desperate eyes of someone who’s just now realized all that he could have had.

“I know Thor, but it doesn’t change anything. In fact if Helen knew you were here she’d have you arrested on the spot.”

“Not to mention the restraining order she would slap you with.” Adds Loki.

“Grandma is actually terrifying about it.” Agrees Siggy.

“But hey, what she doesn’t know won’t give her high blood pressure, right?” Tony looks at Siggy, watching her take in his words, waiting for her to register the question behind them. She looks back at him, a decision already made.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get to know my biological Dad a bit.”

“If that’s what you want...”

Siggy shrugs and makes a face as if to say ‘well he’s here already.’ Sometimes Siggy reminds Tony so much of Jane that he wants to cry.

“Ok then, how about we go to the dining room and give you both some privacy.”

Siggy nods, smiling when Tony kisses her forehead. “Thanks daddy”

Taking the hint, Natasha, Bruce, Steve and Loki rise from their seats (though not before grabbing glasses of water from the tray) and follow Tony to the living room area just behind a half wall. The gesture is more symbolic than anything, because it soon becomes clear that the mostly open-plan floor leaves little room for privacy. Sitting around a table across from Steve Rogers is not a place Tony ever thought he would find himself in ever again. Steve looks as good as ever. His athletic physique has not changed and the only new additions to his face are soft creases that may one day become crows feet.

“So, guys. What’s new?”

He means the question more for Nat and Bruce than for the other two. After all, he hasn’t spoken to Steve in almost eleven years and Loki for even longer than that, but it’s Steve who answers.

“My divorce was just finalized.”

The completely unsolicited piece of news stuns Tony into silence.

“Really Steve?” Natasha looks about ready to cause Steve bodily harm and Tony wonders if they discussed this while they were in their car… on their way here… from New York… where Steve is apparently divorced from Peggy Carter.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted you to know that.”

“And why would I want to know that?”

“Because you were right, about everything.”

For a moment, Tony considers asking what the ‘everything’ is exactly, but he doesn’t want to draw this out. He knows what Steve means because he still remembers exactly what he yelled at Steve when they broke up.

“Ok. I appreciate…whatever it is you’re trying to tell me. Moving on, how’s work treating you Nat?”

“Tony, please!”

It’s the tone that gets him, the raw emotion behind it that gets Tony to look straight into Steve’s beautiful blue eyes.

“What do you want from me Steve?”

“You were right! You told me I would never be happy denying who I am and I wasn’t. You told me that I would never forgive myself for what I did and I still haven’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you Tony, I’m sorry I left you by yourself right before you needed me the most. And most of all… I’m so sorry that I was so ashamed of myself that I made our friends take sides.”

And finally, after eleven years there’s the truth. He’s always suspected that something along those lines had occurred, but he never actually thought that all the unanswered emails and messages and calls had been directly caused by Steve. Hurt bubbles up in his throat, that old feeling of being wronged coming back to the surface.

“What’s done is done Steve. Just… leave it there.” He sounds cold, tired and maybe he is. Steve’s actions had a direct impact on his life, in his decisions. Had he had the support of friends he would have chosen to raise Siggy in New York. Had he not been so alone he would haven’t have come so far away looking for a new start, wouldn’t have met Vivi, or Harley, or Arlen or Stephen. He wouldn’t be part of a community, wouldn’t have the kind of peace he has now. He wouldn’t have had a house full of laughter and noise and warmth. “What’s done is done.” He repeats out loud.

“Seems to me like you dodged a bullet Stark.”

Loki’s comment is all venom, but not at Tony. Tony manages a smirk despite the accusatory glare Steve pins the dark haired man with.

“Did you have any kids at least?” Tony asks Steve, fully expecting to hear a yes.

“No. Unfortunately that just wasn’t in the cards for us.”

It sounds like such a well-rehearsed line that it’s almost automatic. Tony cannot believe his ears. Steve had sacrificed everything to have his own children, it had been the driving factor behind Steve’s infidelity, the cause for their breakup, the reason for his marriage to Peggy.

“I’m so sorry Steve.” And Tony truly is sorry. The sincerity behind the words is true, the shock in his face is real. Steve gives him a sad little smile in return. “You should try surrogacy. I’ve heard great things about it from couples.” The advice slips out mindlessly, as if it’s another Thursday night PTA meeting.

“We’ve been trying to convince him to give surrogacy a try.” Adds Bruce.

“You really should. Going at it alone isn’t as scary as it sounds. I mean yeah, it’s a challenge but it’s not as scary when you’re right in the middle of it.” Yeah, just another Thursday night PTA meeting, Tony thinks.

“Actually that’s our news. We’re pregnant, through a surrogate.” Natasha is beaming, her face lighting up in a way Tony hasn’t seen since they were teens.

“Congratulations! How many months?”

“We’re at twenty-five weeks.”

“Boy or girl?”

“Boy” Bruce and Natasha answer in unison.

Tony laughs, a happy, merry sound. “That’s great you guys! This calls for a toast!”

He gets up and walks to a small fridge carefully tucked away by a corner. He inputs a digit password onto a small pad and waits for the sound of the lock swiping open.

“You keep your liquor under lock and key Stark?” Asks Loki, impressed.

“I have half a dozen pre-teen children running around here all the time, you think I’m stupid enough to leave alcohol out for them to get curious about?”

He pulls five icy cold beers from the fridge and waits for the electric lock to latch back in place. He places the beers on the table and purposely ignores the look of longing Steve is throwing his way. He uncaps his beer and waits for them each to do the same before speaking. “A toast! For the sleep our friends here are soon not going to be getting!” He declares.

Natasha and Bruce laugh with nervous excitement as they all clink beers.

“Thanks Tony.” Whispers Bruce.

“You’ll have to bring the baby over for a visit sometime.”

“Of course.” Says Natasha and looking at her now Tony might even bet $5 that they really will come visit. Maybe...

“You look happy.” Comments Steve after managing to down over half his beer in one gulp.

Tony shrugs. “Took a while to get there but I guess I am.”

Steve nods, his focus solely on the beer in front of him. He looks like he wants to say more but is holding back. Tony hopes it stays that way, there’s nothing that Steve Rogers can tell him at this moment that would make anything better.

They sit there, sharing light hearted chatter until Siggy walks over to Tony. She throws her arms around him and does not stop until she’s sitting on her dad’s lap, her face pressed against his neck like she does whenever she’s feeling overwhelmed. Sigrid is tall for her age, her legs dangle uncomfortably off the side of the chair but she seems unbothered by it. Tony reacts by simply holding her tighter and pressing kisses onto her hair, all the while continuing a conversation with Natasha and Loki about law firms.

But the look of them both, the image Tony and Sigrid make is so striking, that the train of thought is derailed into concerned silence. A minute later, Thor appears. He takes one look at Siggy hiding in Tony’s arms and looks about ready to break down crying.

“Everything ok Thor?” Loki’s tone is pure accusation and Thor looks up at his brother with stinging eyes.

“No. No it is not, but there is no remedying it now.”

“Sweetheart, could you do me a favor please? Could you go upstairs and ask your Aunt Vivi to order some food for lunch?” Siggy turns to look up at her Daddy’s face. Her eyes are teary but she seems to be holding up pretty well.

“But I thought Aunt Vivi already asked Uncle Stephen to grab us all something.”

Tony’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “And when did this new development happen?”

“Aunt Vivi told me before she went upstairs with Harley and Arlen.”

“So Stephen should be here any minute?”

Siggy nods but she cannot help the mischievous little smile that worms its way to her lips. She hadn’t said anything before on purpose, that much is obvious.

“We don’t mean to intrude, we can grab something to eat on our way back.” Suggests Bruce but Tony is quick to dismiss it. 

“No, it’s fine. The food’s on its way anyway.”

“My Uncle Stephen is a neurosurgeon and he just finished his shift at the hospital so he should be here any minute with the food.” Siggy informs them. 

Tony would never have thought that it was possible to sneak so much boasting in a single sentence before this very moment.

“That’s very kind of him, isn’t it kind Thor?”

The glare Thor throws his brother is one of someone who is at the end of his rope. But Tony understands why Loki is doing it. He can understand the anger, the hurt Loki must have had to deal with all these years, not knowing where his brother was hiding, having to deal with his parents all on his own. Thor hadn’t just abandoned Jane and his unborn daughter, he’d also abandoned his younger brother.

“What the hell where you doing in Haiti, by the way?” There’s no anger behind Tony’s question. Just honest curiosity.

“I am with Doctors Without Borders, my team travels Haiti giving medical care to children and adults.”

As far as excuses go, Tony must admit that that’s a pretty good one. Hell even Jane wouldn’t have known how to react to that one.

“My Uncle Stephen also goes to Nepal every few years with Doctors Without Borders. He operates on a lot of people there.”

The only thing Tony is unsure of at this precise moment is whether the snooty tone in Siggy’s voice is coming out naturally, or whether she’s actually working at it. He’s torn between burying his face in her hair and laughing like a maniac or whispering “quit it” in her ear. Siggy loves her Uncle Stephen, that much has always been true. She’s liked him from the moment Vivi introduced him a year ago, but this open adoration for him is obviously a tool with which to dig at Thor’s heart with. 

“Ok, let’s cool it a little there.” He says openly and squeezes his daughter’s hand in warning.

Thankfully the sound of the doorbell, an instant later, breaks the heaviness of the dining room. No sooner has it rung that a stampede of feet are heard running down the stairs.

“Uncle Stephen’s heeerree!” Arley’s shrieks as she runs to open the door.

“Arlen slow down!” Warns Harley who is not far behind.

Tony listens as the door opens, voices are heard and the tell-tell sign of plastic crinkling starts getting closer. A moment later, two kids and one adult enter the kitchen beside the living room carrying bags of take-out, bags which soon cover the kitchen island and make it hard so see the man who brought them in.

“Thanks Stephen!” Tony calls out.

In instant later, a tall man with dark hair and athletic build makes his way out of the island and onto the living room, two kids tailing after him. 

“Hey Tony.” Then spotting Siggy still firmly sitting on her father’s lap he frowns “Siggy, everything ok?”

The girl beams at the man before replying “Yes Uncle Stephen, everything is ok now.”

Having an audience she cares about kick-starts Siggy’s dignity enough to drag her up from her Daddy’s lap and onto a standing position. But she stays close, choosing to stand with an arm wrapped around Tony’s shoulders instead.

“Stephen this is Sigrid’s biological dad, Thor, over there’s his brother Loki and here are some old friends of mine from New York, Natasha, Bruce and Steve.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all. I’m Stephen Strange.”

“Wait, are you Dr. Strange? The famous neurosurgeon?” Interrupts Thor.

“I don’t know about the famous part…”

The awe that fills Thor’s whole face at that moment will be comical in retrospect. But in true Thor fashion, he goes from angry murder muffin to blushing fanboy in a heartbeat.

“Your studies in neurology are legendary! I use your therapies for reconnecting nerves in the field!”

Stephen smiles a tight, polite smile. “I’m glad they’re proving useful.”

“They most certainly are! It is an honour to meet you! I would love to discuss some of the therapies with you…” Thor looks so completely besotted that Tony wants to throw his head back and laugh.

“What just happened?” Asks Siggy, probably not even realizing she’s spoken.

“Thor happened, sweetheart.” He tells her and plants a big kiss on her cheek in consolation. If Siggy wanted Thor be jealous of Stephen, then those hopes have just been irreversibly dashed. From now on, Tony’s sure that Thor will take on a leadership role in the Stephen Strange fan club.

“Well this just got a lot less fun.” Mutters Loki, his obvious disappointment earning him a nod of agreement from his niece. 

The food is consumed in a frenzy of noise, voices talking over each other, food being unwrapped, a myriad of conversations carrying one over the other. It doesn’t take long for Vivi (dressed and ready), to come downstairs to grab a bite to eat herself before leaving for her shift. She leaves the children with hugs and kisses, Tony with a big smooch to his forehead and a mysterious conversation with Stephen that is whispered too low for anyone to hear. All Tony knows is that when Stephen walks back into the living room, he seems particularly interested in watching Steve.

Finally, once the food has been consumed and the sun is marking the incoming late afternoon, Bruce clears his throat.

“We should be getting back you guys, it’s getting late.”

“Perhaps I could stay at a hotel and come back tomorrow?” Suggests Thor, his gaze focused on Sigrid.

“Thor you can’t” Loki sounds annoyed by the suggestion, like this is a conversation they’ve had and cleared before coming here.

Thor looks torn, his heart and mind fighting an internal battle that is clearly visible on his face. Only Siggy’s voice cuts loud and clear though the battle.

“Maybe we could text?” 

He looks at her, eyes hopeful.

“Like I said, I’m not moving anywhere and I’m staying with Daddy forever, but maybe we could keep in touch and you can come visit whenever you’re in the US… or whatever.”

It’s a child’s way of compromising, an offer of least effort and as it stands, spoken from someone who although curious, has never actually yearned to meet her birth father. But it’s still an offering and one Thor would be foolish to discard on the basis of unfairness and hurt. Thor understand what Loki has spent days drilling into his brain; he has no legal rights.

“I would like that very much Sigrid.”

Only a child could render such a boisterous, fighter of a man powerless, and it is a child who finally makes Thor Odinson stand before life, willing to take whatever crumbs are thrown his way. Tony understands the feeling better than he’ll ever let on.

“Go get your phone baby, so you can swap numbers.” He whispers to her, his hand reaching to stroke her cheek. She nods and walks to the living room where her phone is surely hiding.

“I shall never forget that I owe you a debt which can never be repaid Tony.”

There isn’t a shadow of doubt in Thor’s statement, nor a drop of reproach. Tony certainly does not feel like Thor owes him anything, but at the same time, if that was him in Thor’s shoes, wouldn’t he feel like he’s indebted to the person who has and continues to care, raise, love and protect his biological child?

“Don’t be a stranger.” Tony says instead, a bittersweet smile on his lips which Thor returns.

A somewhat awkward cluster of minutes pass by. Minutes in which Herley and Arlen help Stephen clear out the mountain of take-out waste. Minutes in which Natasha and Bruce help clear out the table and a wet rag is pushed onto Loki’s hand by Natasha with an order to wipe down the tabletop. Minutes that cover the weird exchange of cell phone numbers and modest negotiation of phone calls, between a daughter, her parent and a biological father.

As the dining room table and the kitchen return to a tidy state, the visitors shift to say their goodbyes. Hugging Natasha and Bruce goodbye is easy for Tony and Sigrid, they exchange pleasantries and part with Natasha promising, one again, to be back soon with their baby. As the Banners move away to say goodbye to Stephen and the children, Loki comes forth next. He smiles charmingly down at his niece before kneeling down to her level and opening his arms theoretically wide. Eyes sparkling, Sigrid takes the invite with a laugh and they hug with such sincere affection that Thor is left nursing visible jealousy. While to them all it may look like Siggy and Loki have hit it off, Tony knows the truth behind the affection; Loki is just too damn good looking to refuse a hug from. While both Jane and Tony had preferred blondes, Sigrid’s tastes already seem to veer toward tall, dark and handsome.

With eyes full of amusement, Tony watches as his daughter asks her Uncle Loki for his cell phone number. She’s so utterly charming about it that Tony doesn’t know whether to be proud or embarrassed. Had she learned that from him? Or is it one of those things that came pre-programmed in Thor’s genes.

He is so distracted that when Thor suddenly traps Tony in a hug, all the air in Tony’s lungs is knocked free in an instant. He’s held there, wrapped in Thor’s powerful arms as his lungs recover air but instead of releasing him, Thor merely buries his face in Tony’s messy hair and exhales the wettest, most heartbreaking sound Tony has heard in a long time. Suddenly Tony finds himself pressed more firmly against Thor’s wide and warm chest, feeling the force of Thor’s controlled sobs pressing against his own chest until Tony doesn’t know whether they’re Thor’s or his own. He feels the pain in Thor’s embrace, and just like that, Jane is brought back to Tony’s eyes.

He remembers her eyes and her hair and the feeling of baby Sigrid sleeping in his arms. He remembers the heartbreak and the loneliness until Tony too is sobbing in Thor’s big warm chest. They hold each other until they’re staying upright through sheer shared effort and stay there till they finally feel some semblance of control.

Unsurprisingly, they are alone once they finally part. They look at each other, red eyed, red-faced and tear streaked and say nothing. Tony pats Thor’s shoulder and tries to smile but it comes out so brokenly that he gives up.

“She’ll always be with us Thor, thanks to Sigrid.” He finally says and Thor nods.

“Thank you for everything, my friend.”

It is the most heartfelt thank you that Tony has ever heard and it brings back the tears so quickly that he can barely see Thor.

“It’s given me a reason to live.” Tony finally replies and he hates how true it really is. If it hadn’t been for Sigrid, Tony never would have survived Steve.

Thor gets it though and they share a sincere broken smile.

“Daddy? Are you ok?”

The call comes from the front of the house, where they all seem to have clustered together in an effort to give the two some space.

“Yeah baby, your fathers are all out of tears now!” Tony yells back and somehow the truth of it is so funny that both Thor and Tony giggle despite themselves.

Thor wraps and arm around Tony’s shoulders and together they make their way to the front of the house.

It’s dark outside now, the summer heat as finally kneeled in defeat before the darkness and for the first time all day, the outside doesn’t suffocate Tony. They all step out onto the porch and with a wave goodbye Stephen takes Harley and Arlen back into the house. After another round of hugs, Natasha, Bruce and Loki are quick to walk back to the car but Steve doesn’t follow them. Instead, Steve stays with Tony as they walk down to the bottom of the stairs to give Thor and Sigrid some privacy.

“So why did you really come here Steve?” Tony is officially too emotionally exhausted to dance around anything anymore.

“I came to see you. I couldn’t believe it when Thor told me what happened, I mean I knew you’d moved out of New York years ago but I didn’t know where or about Sigrid.”

“Good, that’s what I wanted.”

“Tony…”

“Look Steve, I know you’re in a bad place right now but why don’t I save us a lot of bullshit and give you the answer to the question you’re dancing around? I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Peggy, but we are not getting back together. I barely survived you the first time around and I have no intention of putting myself through that again, especially when I have a kid to think about now.”

“It’d be different Tony, I’d be different. I’m not confused anymore Tony… please…”

The florescent street lights, typically so unforgiving to the human form cast a beautiful glow on Steve’s face. He’s looking at Tony with such longing, such love that for an instant Tony wants to kiss that look right off his face. Maybe years ago Tony would have done just that. Maybe if Steve had shown up at his doorstep five years ago, Tony would have allowed him back into his heart, into his life, into his bed.

But now isn’t five years ago and Tony is no longer the same person he was then. 

“No Steve. I wish you happiness, really I do, but it can’t be with me. To be honest, I don’t think I’m really what you’re looking for either. But sometimes I guess we have to go back to the beginning in order to look to the future.”

“What if my beginning was my future?”

“Then you’re not looking at it right.”

It’s such a Tony thing to say that Steve can’t help the watery chuckle that leaves his lips. This is how they were, how they’d always been. Steve could get so caught up in something, in an art piece, in a project, on a technicality, that he’d lose sight of everything around him. It was Tony who’d always brought the world back into perspective. Tony who always challenged him to see the whole picture and gave him new inspiration.

  
“Can we at least stay in touch this time around?”

  
Tony shrugs.

“Sure, ask Thor to give you my cell.”

Steve gives him a sad little smile and when he steps closer to give Tony a hug, it’s expected. Tony braces for the contact like one braces for a punch, and when it comes it’s surprisingly less painful than he thought it would be. It doesn’t last long, Tony steps away quickly enough and offers a smile.

“Goodbye Steve”

Steve doesn’t reply, he just nods and walks to the car. Up on the porch Thor has Siggy wrapped up in a hug which ends with him lovingly kissing Siggy’s forehead.

“We shall text” Thor declares and the solemnity of the declaration causes Siggy to chuckle.

“Yeah Thor, we will.”

Smiling, Thor steps down onto the garden where he stops to once again hug Tony. “Ok big guy, they’re waiting for you.”

Thor smiles a toothy, dorky smile down at Tony. “We shall be in touch.” He tells him, it sounds like a promise made in blood and Tony smiles.

Father and daughter watch the car drive away from the safety of their porch. Siggy settles comfortably by Tony’s side, her head resting against his chest.

“I don’t mind if you call Thor Dad y’know.”

“Nah, he hasn’t earned it yet. Maybe in a few years… maybe.” Half of her reply is muffled by his t-shirt and he realizes right then and there how exhausted they both are. He rubs her back soothingly, enjoying their moment of quiet before they head back inside. 

“I love you jelly bean.”

“I love you too daddy.”

It isn’t muffled this time because she’s looking up at him with her big blue eyes.

“We’ll be alright sweetheart.” He reassures and she believes him.

It takes two more hours before Tony is finally able to lie down on the living room couch, a now empty glass of wine by his side. He and Stephen put the kids to bed early and while he knows that they will be up chatting for half the night, Tony doesn’t care. His daughter is upstairs, safe and in good company. He can’t ask for more.

“What are you planning to do about Steve?” Stephen asks after Tony’s done telling him all about the afternoon’s grand event.

It’s somewhat incredible how well Stephen knows him.

“Nothing… He’s like a lost cat looking for the perfect home. I know he’ll text from time to time, but once he’s back in his scene, it’ll be easier for him to move on to the next candidate in his endless search for the ‘ideal’ family.”

“Then he’s caught in an endless pursuit of happiness. He may be more in love with the dream than with achieving it. It happens… still hurts though, doesn’t it.”

Tony exhales a mirthless sound that could have been a chuckle but is more like a sigh. Of course Stephen understands….of course he knows. Stephen outlived his beloved wife after all, and while Steve is still very much alive, Tony’s Steve, the man he loved for a decade, died a long time ago. 

“Doesn’t it always?”

They look at each other, a moment of heartbroken communion passing between them.

“Want to cuddle tonight?” Stephen asks, gently, as if he were soothing a child.

“Yeah” Tony whispers.

It doesn’t take long for the last of the living room lights to be turned off, for the doors to be locked and a glass set on the kitchen counter. They make their way up the stairs together and in the darkness of the living room, a plaque reading JANE FOSTER gleams with a stray light. 


End file.
